Just becasue you've "seen it before" doesn't mean its not still awesome! LEARN SOME EPICS PEOPLE!!

March 2, 2010 at 3:16pm

Warning: Geeklingo is all up in here, keep dealing with it.

The Matrix. Lord Of the Rings. 300. All beloved movies.
Any slo mo dodge. Anything Fantasy. Anything using slow mo kicks. All belittled as little bunny copy cats.

The latest spark of insanity is seen in the reviews for Alice in Wonderland. Apparently, it has a "generic battle climax similar to any number of others in CGI-heavy movies of the past few years." What are you telling me Todd McCarthy "top critic?" That i can't have another helping of epic sauce on my fictional war burger? RIDICULUS! Just becasue we've seen it once, and loved it (even if that "once" was is pronounced the Spanish way) does not reduce how impressive a fake cling clang brawl can be. After seeing the war scene, its clear how unfair the review is. When have we ever seen a scene where a girl beheads Christopher lee (sort of). NO WHERE! Subtleties baby. Look at the subtleties.

Ladies and gentleman we need to get over our need for seeing the bigger or the better. Its not gonna happen. It took humanity 150,000 years after Primordial Eve to finally give us Bullet Time. We need to be more lax in our judgments.

Even Avatar. Dozens of claims of ripoffs and yet, its so much more. Its its own entity. Yeah we've seen the "gone native" format before but didnt we award the crap out it? Costner got freakin Oscar, Disney won oodles of acclaim for ol' Pocky, and America has an unhealthy obsession with Smurfs as it is. (Also, nobody seems angry that Avatar even used Wes Studi, the habitual native!) My point is that its the old "never can have too much of a good thing" thing. If Avatar was not in 3D, by all means, tear it apart.

The major problem that people saw with Watchmen (and to a lesser extent, Harry Potter) was that it was too reverent. That is the dumbest thing ever heard. An adaptation is an adaptation. It is supposed to resemble the words on the page except the words have sounds and visuals. Morons.

Speaking of! The pool of original ideas is drying up anyway, isnt it best not to take a poo on live action adaps? Its mostly what we have left. Its better than Transmorphers or The Terminators. Now those movies should burn in hell.

(This gets me to another much less popular point. Speed Racer was an amazing movie. It was all whirly and spacey and mostly kid friendly AND it was NEW!! But God forbid we get too into epicness. That movie was scored by an Academy Award winner!)

How about TV shows. Dont the masses already flock to the generic "objection" dramas and the "ow it hurts but i dont know why!!!" shows? (yes) Then why is it that we can't have a show that is both exactly like X files and a ripoff of Indiana Jones and not simply enjoy it for the residual effects amassed by that holy combination (Warehouse 13). (and im not talking to E!, they, aside from the Soup which makes fun of E!, suck.) I know that Dollhouse is "Matrixing" (so too is Caprica but no complaints from that front yet) but that's not what should be focused on. Focus on how freakin cool it is! Its not like the characters have rhyming names. Also, why not have another FBI + not FBI buddy show if its got some good dialogue?

Now some of my points may seem stupid.

Another thing that bothers me is the whole 300 fiasco. Yeah Legend of the Seeker is over dramatic and uses slo mo when not need (which is awesome) and yeah Spartacus Blood and Sand looks just like it, but they are so epic and sometimes, Epic is as epic does. Its OK to like slo mo people!

Oh and when it comes to Sci Fi. Its all racism! You CAN tell them apart if you give them the time! (I too judge sometimes)

What about blatant ripoffs? (Sort of like Owl City and Postal Service but for visuals...OH like The Fast and the Furious and Point Break!) There has to be a line somewhere right? Fine. A] There has to be some sort of acknowledgment. James Cameron straight up admitted to dance with wolves. B] The quality has to be on par. Mission to Mars and Red Planet. Both very similar. Both well done. No problem. C] It has to offer something that wasn't part of the previous formula. The stories for Antz and A bug's Life were fairly unique. One had Paul from Spin city, the other had SLY!

Tah freakin dah. Plain and simple, If its well done enough being a ripoff is irrelevant.